Call your Name
by Caela Illu
Summary: Van muses after Hitomi has left for the Mystic Moon. What has the Goddess of Wings done to the Dragon?


Call Your Name

by: Radiant Archangel

            Wings...

            I thought I heard the silent flutter. I thought I saw the sudden white brilliance. I thought I heard her song. I turned around, my heart jumping a beat, my breath catching.

            I whisper her name breathlessly, a smile starting cross my face, my legs ready to launch my own body in her direction, to welcome her with my arms, to embrace her, crush her to me, to feel that slender form within my grasp, so soft, so warm, breathing softly against my chest.

            But she wasn't there.

            I stare at empty space, my head turned to glance behind me and my shoulders slump. No, she wasn't there. She never was. She has never been there ever since she spread those glorious wings of hers... and never looked back. 

            We made a promise before she had left, a promise that I would have kept, if she had not broken it by flying away from me. She told me that we would always be together, no matter what. Well, how she said it really didn't warrant it as a promise, but I treated it as one. I looked into those clear, deep blue eyes and thought I would. I would never leave her, let her feel alone again. I would be there to make her happy, to share in her joy, to hurt her, and to be hurt by her in return. We would make each other's lives worth living. 

            Loneliness was what brought us together. It was what compelled her to take my brother's hand and lead her here, to my world, to me. She didn't want to be alone. She said that there was nothing left for her, that's why she wanted to disappear. To vanish.

            I felt the same way for a long time, maybe as long as she did, maybe even longer. The dark legacy of dragon blood ran through my veins, and it was my soul's only, and heaviest cross. It taught me that I had to fight, to kill, to claim what was rightfully mine, to continue to do so until there was only one dragon. 

            Only one, and it had to be me.

            The prophecy did not choose my brother, and that was why he was destined to destroy Fanelia, to kill our father and call upon the Goddess of Wings to awaken Escaflowne and redeem Gaea. And I, on the other hand, was chosen, chosen to live alone, wandering aimlessly through Gaea, our father's words ringing in my ears. I knew then that I would have to fight until the end, and even perhaps kill my own brother.

            Fate made it so that I did not, kill Folken, that is, but watch his demise with my own eyes. It was the last time I called him 'oniichan', and the first time ever since I saw him standing in the burning throneroom, our father's head in his hand. The memory used to bring the sting of tears to my eyes, but I had grown to just feel wistful about it. It no longer caused my chest to burn, and my lungs grasp to breathe in more air but instead breathe in pain. No, that stage of my life was finished, and the death of my father had long been avenged.

            I hear Merle calling me from beneath one of the old trees where she played with the children in the village, but I do not look up. I want to stay here, on top of the cliff, gazing into the sunset, and feel the loneliness surround me. That sinking feeling that wakes us up in the middle of the night and makes us cry for no reason at all than that we have no one to share it with. 

But in my case, it doesn't wake me up, it doesn't make me cry, it does not make me want someone to share with. It keeps me awake, it makes me smile and I want it all to myself. I wouldn't have it any other way. Loneliness is the only thing. The only thing I have left. 

Left of her...

In the short time Kanzaki Hitomi came to me, I had felt loneliness leave me. She had her own, but it too seemed to go away when I was with her. From the moment she had fallen into my arms after I had freed Escaflowne that fateful day. I saw the scared look in her eyes and all I wanted to do was protect her. So I knelt before her shivering form, and pledged that I would.

I regret to have almost attacked her when she did not understand what I was saying. It was clear that she didn't comprehend why she had just fallen from inside Escaflowne and landed in a place she never knew existed, and to be greeted by me and my sword. I must have scared her out of her wits, and moreso when Allen had arrived and we had fought yet again.

            There used to be long nights when I would think about things. The prophecy, my brother, and the Goddess of Wings. What she would be like, what she wore, where we would meet...

            When she did arrive, she was nothing I had expected. I didn't expect her to have unusually short hair, or the deepest blue eyes you'd ever see, or have that infinitely sad, despaired look on her face. I didn't expect her to fall out of Escaflowne either.

            She didn't look like a Goddess either. Not one bit. Milerna told me that upon waking up, she had only asked for some water, and nothing else. She was very polite and shy, nobody'd ever think she was more than a girl dressed in wierd clothes.

            But that doesn't mean she wasn't a Goddess. Maybe being the Goddess of Wings meant something not for her, but for Escaflowne. After all, she was the key to awakening the Dragon God. 

            To awakening me.

            It was not destiny, prophecy or revenge that made me step inside the armor. It was not some sense of honor or a magical feeling inside of me saying that I had to step in and defeat Dilandau. Actually, it was her, the way she stood before me, delicate and shivering from my brother's calling. I had to protect her--from my brother, from Dilandau and the armor. I gave my blood, stood the pain of the piercing needles just so I knew she would not get hurt. 

            I wanted to save her. I could only do that by giving my blood to Escaflowne, so I did. I would not let anyone hurt her, and yet in the end, it was I who almost did. I didn't save her, she saved me.

            To crawl into the blackness and despair in your heart is no mean feat, even if you were being pushed by the God of War himself. I couldn't stop fighting, and instead of wanting to protect Hitomi, I wanted to kill for her.  But she saved me, by calling my name,and standing before the God of War. I have never known anyone who had so much courage, so much faith in her. So I stopped, but it was too late. Escaflowne didn't only share my blood, but also my mind. To make it stop meant to make my heart stop also. 

            It was good she knew the way. To my heart, that is, because I would've been trapped there forever if she didn't find me. She took me out of my loneliness by sharing hers, and I liked the way it sounded when she said that she would be always be there for me. That she would be there to hurt me and be hurt in return, that she would make me feel alive, even if I was all alone, because she was alone too, and that--

            I smile again, she said we would be alone.... together.

            I remember my father saying that wings will be granted to those with a strong will. Not like the wings that I had upon my back, but wings that would let me soar through the sky, the world, the universe, and be able to attain anything I wanted. Sometimes, I wished I could fly all the way to the Mystic Moon, but that was when I was younger. But still, if I knew that Hitomi was there waiting for me, I would have gone. I would have flown, until my wings would die, if only I could see her again.

            She said that she heard someone's voice, someone singing, just before she spread her wings and left. I sometimes wonder, everyday, at sunset, while I sit upon our cliff, the cliff she was last seen, what song and whose voice she heard. Maybe if I could find out, I could bring her back. But no, it would be impossible. The only ones that could do that was a tribe long since gone, the last of them dying with my brother. 

            But why was it then, even if my brother's prophet was gone, did her song still reach Hitomi's ears, and call her back to the Mystic Moon? Why? Why did Hitomi even listen? Why did she choose to go? Why did she leave me, all alone? 

            So I stand and watch the fading colors of the sun, wondering these many things, for wondering is all I can do. I promised Merle that we'd stay here in the wood valleys after everything was over, and we did. We stayed here, while Allen and the Abaharaki left to put the pieces of Gaea back together. Allen asked me to be king, since he knew I would rule well, but I declined. It was in me to become a dragon, but not to be a ruler. No, I had enough of fighting, of being burdened by what I was.

            The sun slipped beneath the rolling mountains, without uttering a sound to destroy the serenity and beauty of its descent, and to welcome one of the things that reminded me of Hitomi. The Mystic Moon. I stare at it for a while, thinking, what are you doing Hitomi? Do you still think of me, or have you forgotten? Do you know that I haven't forgotten and that I always think about you? Do you know that I'm alone again, and that you're not here to be alone with me? Do you know that even if you're there and I'm here, I'm still hurting, and you're not here for me to hurt? Did you forget our promise?

            I have to urge to sigh, but I don't. But before I turn around and walk down the path, I have something for you, Hitomi.

"Win dain a lotica

En vai tu ri

Si lo ta

Fin dein a loluca

En dragu a sei lain

Vi fa-ru les shutai am

En riga-lint..."

You said that it sounded mysterious and beautiful. Do you know that you are exactly that to me? 

This time I do sigh, but I breathe yor name out just the same. 

Soft, light and wistful, as always, when things came to you. "Hitomi..."

~Fin~

Author's Note:

            Ne, minna-san, how'd I do? First attempt at Escaflowne, and I'm not sure.... really. Totally. I always get like this when I hear that stupid song. I absolutely loved the movie, but I hated it for a while when Hitomi left. Poor Van.... oh well, another fanfic opportunity for me!

            I was thinking of making an alternate version for this one, or maybe a second or last part.... But I thought that maybe you guys wouldn't like it so I'll just see if I get enough reviews for inspiration with this one, then I'd upload the next part. If I get lots of reviews, then maybe my idea didn't suck after all.

            And no, the next part, if it will ever grace the pages of FF.net, will not be a Hitomi POV. I can't write her.... she's too hard. Or maybe I could, if you guys wrote enough reviews to make me believe you want her POV badly. I'd do (write, actually) anything for you guys. But the one I already made is a Van/Hitomi part, but still Van's POV. It's not like this first part isn't Van/Hitomi, but let me say that Hitomi will make an appearance. No, not in his memory or some vision or anything concerning vagueness, but in the flesh, before Van's eyes.

            So if you want, please review and tell me if you think my fanfic is ok. Please comment on my writing style, since I'm quite sure it sucks. totally. I suck, ne?

            Since I absolutely love guys who read through author's notes, scroll down and get a sneak peek:

Call Your Name : Hidden Scene

            As Van turned around and began his way towards Merle, who had beeen waiting for him for quite a while, a warm, soft breeze blew about him. It seemed to circle a lot, and carried a lot of leaves. You could see the way it danced and swayed, stirring the numerous blades of grass as it skimmed the ground, parting a path in gold, brown and burgundy crisp. 

            The leaves were dead, yet these were the things that made it seem that the wisp of wind was alive, circling, circling, circling..... Flashes of gold, brown, burgundy, purple and sometimes even--

            Van whipped around, he was so sure he saw it this time. There was no mistaking it. He saw one. He saw it. It was clear, vivid--

            It was white.

            'A feather...' he thought to himself, and looked hard and long at that mass of colour, trying to catch a glance of white brilliance amongst the deep velvet hues. He didn't hear Merle calling him yet again, because there was something else ringing in his ears...

            "Win dain a lotica..." he could hear it, and he scrambled towards the sound, and the swirling dance of leaves... and saw it again.

            White.

            There was a feather swirling with the leaves. It wasn't just white, it was radiant, and he kept his eyes on it the whole time he tredged up the cliff again. For fear of losing sight of the little thing, he did not look where he was going, and fell down a few times, trying to keep up with the little breeze.

            "En vai tu ri..." he knew that voice. "Si lo ta."

            It stopped. The song just stopped, but Van did not seem to mind, because the breeze he followed swirled one last time, kissing the grass, almost as if it wanted to leave something behind...

            And it did, for Van stopped looking at the breeze. He couldn't care less if it disappeared suddenly.

            On the ground, within arm's reach...

            Was a feather, almost shining in its radiance.

~End of Hidden Scene~

            Hee hee hee. ^_~ PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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